“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum
The summer of 2014 was simply terrifying. I was forced out of my home by the Ku Klux Klan AKA Fontana police department and had to move me and my five children to another state for our safety. Having moved around a lot when I was younger, I was able to adapt easily, but my children....that was a whole different story. My youngest two children were still full of promise and adventure and looked forward to going to a new school and meeting new friends. My three oldest demons, I mean children gave me the business. Them little rotten muthafukkkas did everything they could do to sabotage my efforts to rebuild out lives and move forward. I helped one get a brand new car hoping that would make him stay and help out and still be able to visit his 'friends' in Cali. The other one has a great job with a prestigious company and fukkked that of. Idiot number three started smoking weed, dropped out of school, and got so got dayum disrespectful I wanted to kill him on more that one occasion. I wish I had something uplifting to say about this time, but there really is nothing that I can think of because everything was going to hell in a gasoline drenched hand basket. I was forced to pay market value rent for the first time in 15 years, I was trying to acclimate to a new environment, I was trying to maintain a sense of well-being and balance for my younger children, I was working for NBC in a hell position that was not worth my time, gas, or my sanity, my children were being ungrateful shits and to top it all off, I was battling a downward spiral into depression.
After several days of laying in my bed with the covers over my head crying my eyes out with snot and tears all over my pillowcases; I suddenly sat up in the bed and shouted, "FUKKK THIS SHIT!!!!" I ran me a hot hot hot bath with 2 squeezed lemons and a box of baking soda, soaked for 30 minutes and accepted the changes that my life was going through. I close my eyes and envisioned how a a butterfly struggles to break free from their cocoon. At that moment, I too decided to break out of my cocoon. I stood up and took a cold scrub shower. I watched as all of my dirt, stress, anger, sorrow, confusion, and depression flow down the drain and decided to become a butterfly. I stepped out of the shower a new woman, a stronger woman, and most importantly, a determined woman.
My ability to make a conscious decision to adapt to change made my transition a lot easier from that point forward. I decided to love and respect my children that love and respect me, I enrolled in college and am now 16 classes away from graduation, I resumed my comedy and writing career, I reignited my passion for helping my community, and the last building block of my transformation was when I started taking care of myself.
"Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent." ~ Nolan Ryan